Bend or Break

There’s a cute little yoga quote that says, “I bend so I don’t break.” Of course, on one level it implies that we need to remain flexible enough in our bodies so that we can bend down to tie our own shoes and not break our back. On another level, it means we need to have compassion and understanding of ourselves and others in order to remain in healthy relationship. Have you tried any relationship out that didn’t require some mental and emotional gymnastics to sustain? Or have you tried being right all the time? I don’t suggest it. Relationships require some bending.

When I read the second greatest commandment, I see I am to learn how to love others like myself. And if I’m honest, I’m still learning how to love myself. So sorry to family and friends, I haven’t shown you my best yet. I’m still practicing. When really, REALLY honest, I’m still working on the first greatest commandment to love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind (Matt 22: 36-40). *Side note: There are no commas between heart/soul/mind. Perhaps we need to be unified in all three in order to truly know and love God?

So if I did the math correctly, first I need to learn how to love God, then I will know how to love myself, THEN I will know how to love others. If that sounds like a lot of moving parts … it is. If it feels like you’re trying to catch the wind, maybe you are. I mean it’s hard to always love others, much less myself. And it’s hard to wrangle my heart and soul and mind together even for a split second. Thus, the practice is never-ending. Faith, like yoga, is a personal and an ongoing practice. I have yet to meet a yogi or spiritual person who says, “I made it! Now seek my face and all my righteousness.”

To clarify, being flexible does not mean to be a limp noodle. To be truly flexible requires strength, awareness, and grace. Think: ballerina vs. newborn baby giraffe. We are supposed to be able to move our bodies through our full potential of motion with control. We are asked to move and move with integrity.

So for those with extra flexibility, great. It makes for great Instagram posts but I really hope you don’t need a hip replacement by the time you’re forty, because you’re wearing yourself out to the point of breakdown.

For those with so seeking large, hulky, bulkly muscles, great. You might become Mr. Universe but I hope you can still scratch your own back or wipe your own rear.

As we age, we naturally lose flexibility, however, we also move less. Much, much less. We become confined to our couches, cars, and computers and fail to move our bodies like we did when we were little. Over time our bodies become rigid. But it’s not only our bodies that become rigid, we also get stuck in our ways of thinking and doing and believing. Both our bodies and our hearts/souls/minds harden. Maybe when Jesus says to become like little children he means to be flexible to learning new ways of seeing and doing (Matt 18:3)?

Loving God, loving ourselves, and loving others takes some bending on our part. It takes humility and courage, strength and flexibility, wisdom and compassion.

So:

If we want to hear God’s voice, we need to be able to turn and lift our heads.

If we want to embrace others we need to stretch out our arms and uncage our hearts.

If we want to dig in our heels and decide to die on a certain mountain, make sure someone’s mustard see didn’t move it somewhere else.

If we want our building to last, you want a foundation with the flexibility to withstand seismic shifts and strong winds.

If you want to stay married, you have to learn how to bend to other people’s needs, wants, perspectives.

Back to step #1: God is described spirit, light, love, and fire. None of these things are stationary and able to be captured. All move and are meant to move us. I mean, when God answered Moses’ question about who He was, his answer was “I AM that I AM” (Exodus 3:14). Sounds kinda like “that’s for me to know and you to find out.” Maybe God is saying you can’t pin me down or put me in a box at your convenient level. You must continue to move, follow, listen, and bend. And I believe that is an on-going process!

Stay bendy, my friends.